hallow. hows your pie doing? looks just about done. should save me a piece, especially if it is of the pumpkin kind....
well, now that that is out of the way. i don't like coming home for more than a few hours. it just depresses me. the state of the house the sick and depressed people in their own little worlds only interacting with other peoples world if theirs is boring without any other visitors. I think I've built up a tolerance for it by jumping towards different realities. or i just jump into different masks, however its looked at i had tried naming them,and so here is my list of realities:
home
computer/bored
outdoors adventure
work
video games
TV
movies
Laura
Friends
story-tellers
music
crowds
mosh pits
i think i classify these as realities cause i act differently when I'm around each of them. or when i consume outside influences which could range from alcohol to energy drinks. the easiest one for me to get is energy drinks and they do alter me a good amount.
Friends is a strange reality because each friend is different. so that reality is ever changing. from chronic tokers to logically unlogical ones to full out gamers, which I'm not really part of that crowd that much anymore. I like the look of games but I guess its changed from me playing to watching.
I'm scared of death but not really death of myself I can die then I will be dead but more death of my parents and it seems funny but death of the cat, they are all old and really tired and at least 2 of the 3 are constantly getting sick. It scares me even more when my dad gets sick. 1 he is like 71 and 2 he is the money bringer right now. My mom got really “sick” a long while ago and had to quit her job cause it was too much for her. In February wen my dad gets better I might quit the dollar store and just work for him. I would be making more money and after I learn how to do drywalling it will put less strain on him.
It kinda funny I have gotten to the age of 18 without ever having a person that I knew pretty well dieing, I haven't even been to a funeral. It would be even more sad if my first funeral was for my own dad or mom. My mom use to be happy, but now she is so depressed I don't think anyone knows what to do to help her.
I think I manage to make myself fall into a type of depression each month. It usually only happens for a day or so, Gail (from work) kept asking me for a week if I was OK, I didn't think I was but it only seemed to be work people that noticed so I figured work was just getting to me.
Well its about 5 and I guess I should try to sleep. Hope everyone had a goodly Christmas! Don't forget my pie!
