Thoughts of a Broken Mind

Pumpkin Pie, Please?

2010-12-26T04:11:00.000-08:00

hallow. hows your pie doing? looks just about done. should save me a piece, especially if it is of the pumpkin kind....

well, now that that is out of the way. i don't like coming home for more than a few hours. it just depresses me. the state of the house the sick and depressed people in their own little worlds only interacting with other peoples world if theirs is boring without any other visitors. I think I've built up a tolerance for it by jumping towards different realities. or i just jump into different masks, however its looked at i had tried naming them,and so here is my list of realities:

home

computer/bored

outdoors adventure

work

video games

TV

movies

Laura

Friends

story-tellers

music

crowds

mosh pits

i think i classify these as realities cause i act differently when I'm around each of them. or when i consume outside influences which could range from alcohol to energy drinks. the easiest one for me to get is energy drinks and they do alter me a good amount.
Friends is a strange reality because each friend is different. so that reality is ever changing. from chronic tokers to logically unlogical ones to full out gamers, which I'm not really part of that crowd that much anymore. I like the look of games but I guess its changed from me playing to watching.

I'm scared of death but not really death of myself I can die then I will be dead but more death of my parents and it seems funny but death of the cat, they are all old and really tired and at least 2 of the 3 are constantly getting sick. It scares me even more when my dad gets sick. 1 he is like 71 and 2 he is the money bringer right now. My mom got really “sick” a long while ago and had to quit her job cause it was too much for her. In February wen my dad gets better I might quit the dollar store and just work for him. I would be making more money and after I learn how to do drywalling it will put less strain on him.

It kinda funny I have gotten to the age of 18 without ever having a person that I knew pretty well dieing, I haven't even been to a funeral. It would be even more sad if my first funeral was for my own dad or mom. My mom use to be happy, but now she is so depressed I don't think anyone knows what to do to help her.
I think I manage to make myself fall into a type of depression each month. It usually only happens for a day or so, Gail (from work) kept asking me for a week if I was OK, I didn't think I was but it only seemed to be work people that noticed so I figured work was just getting to me.

Well its about 5 and I guess I should try to sleep. Hope everyone had a goodly Christmas! Don't forget my pie!

art

2010-10-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

so i was looking around my house today and i found my old notebook from youth, one that i had filled with notes drawings and friends drawings. i like these drawings and am thinking of redoing some of mine on the compy when i have time. it would be a good project cause out of most of the crap tats in there some of them are actually pretty interesting from an artist perspective and probably a psychological perspective as well.

whelp thats all for now when i actually do them i guess i will post them here

peace out

Judo!

2010-04-27T21:41:00.000-07:00

hey so i have found out that if i do judo and have an energy drink at least an hour or so beforehand i really enjoy. and i have found a throw that is my favorite to be thrown and to throw someone with. its called Ukigoshi or floating hip throw. look it up on youtube they should have a video of it there. i like judo alot right now. next Tuesday i am being graded and may even get my yellow belt! i just need to memorize this list and i be good. thats all for nows bye

My Apologies

2010-02-11T20:45:00.000-08:00

I am quit sorry if i discouraged anyone not to go and visit laura with my last post. it was a rant that i just wanted to have at the time. i am not there all the time but i try to make it up there everyday so far so if u are wanting the taxi service to drive u up and back just let me know prior the the time. and again i say sorry for discouraging.

Help Help My Brain Is On Fire And My Other Self Took All The Fire Extinguishers :o)

2010-01-28T00:16:00.000-08:00

so i am going to go on a few rants or jargons or tales or whatever i am just going to talk. i am also going to try what karebear does on her blog and do them in a list order. it will help my brain be more spacifical. if u read any of this and think "hey this is pointing directly at me i must burden it inside and kill him through the grape vin later" please dont

ignorance:

as the saying goes ignorance is bliss, well it is till u find out later by the grape vine tat what people actually think. people brood on things far too much then they go boom tell everyone but that one person and then that one person finds out and yay ignorance averted and reality can take a huge fucking bite out of your conscious. ive been ignorant of many things and some by willful doing of my own cause its easier to be unaware than to be aware and hate the world for it.

Hair(lessness):

IT'S GONE!!!
not fully buzzed but short enough. and a lot of people are going to be commenting i think. cause i definitely look different. yay for not knowing what to say to a good comment or hell i don't even know what to say to a bad one. but so far most have been pretty good comments and so it makes me like hair cut more.

Girlfriend:

Well she has been in the hospital for coming up to 3 weeks now and she has gotten a lot better in the last week than anything else. only there is a problem. that means i am going to have to go back to sharing her all the time. she has a lot of friends and so a lot of the time we do spend together its in front of people and then we don't really get to be couple like because she is really conscious of what others like to see around them such as people being all couply. also its probably going to go back to me seeing her only about once maybe twice a week and again that's with a somewhat group of friends. i tolerate it cause well it makes her happy cause she has different friends for thing such as i do and a group just means she can access those different things. but for me group just means either preform or silence. so this last few weeks/days she is in the hospital i am hoping to see her as much as i can. only there is a problem with that as well, my family is the taxi family where we drive a lot of people everywhere. and i don't want to say "no your not aloud to go to a hospital to visit a patient because i want to only today" that just seems too jerkish to me. but i can deal so whatever things will be as things will be.

Friend Groups:

yea I'm gonna go off on this for a bit
Ive never really had a vast amount of good friends before then came high school and i gained a lot and through high school i gained more friends than i could think i could have. then people graduated and went off to college and in my grade 11/12 year i had this sort of good sized group of friends tat met at a coffee shop. sooner or later fights started happening and this one use to be goodish group split up into sort of 2. and me liking each of what both groups had to offer tried to stay with both said groups. its kinda funny one group definitely talked about the break up a lot more than the other. but it was like that for a while. i would hangout with one group at one time and then hangout with the other group another time. it seemed fine for me. but then comes the people that think "oh no, he is hanging out with 'THEM' again, why would he do such a crime" and so they felt this anger towards me but instead of letting me know they let it brood and then act normal while I'm around. unfortunately the one group i could go play video games at and have a good all around time at has disappeared due to roommate crap so i have lost a good group for mindless guy fun:( i could talk about people and name names but i dont really like doing that so i wont.

Devices:

do they have a device out there that can type what you are thinking cause that would work so much better than typing it out on a keyboard. just a random thought, oh and it could be hooked up to a notepad wirelessly at home typing all your thoughts that might be good for me just as long a i edit what people saw and read.

Judo:

i have started taking judo classes and they are making me really sore. bruises everywhere on my upper torso and carpet burns on my toes. this semester is going to be a long one. i think i bruised my bones.

Art:

Im going to sort of tell you what im painting and the philosophy behind it. I am painting my girlfriends basement, except with a little twist. seeing as she has been in hospital for so long i havent seen it for what feels like a century so i have made it so trees are growing out of places the tv is left on but there is no one there to watch it and water damage is all over the walls. im just about done it i just need to paint the couches pool table and a couple trees then i should be completed but we will see. corrections can always be made wit acrylic. except the feeling that its lopsided. i messed that one up.

well i should get off to bed its around 2:20 am and this is Schmizenheighmer signing off.

Tired

2010-01-18T00:43:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of things
one being sleep issues.
the other is seeing my girlfriend in the hospital the other is having to wear a bloody mask when I'm there, cause i was sick. going in tomorrow/today to see if i am non-contagious so no mask but we will see.

tears were born today. mainly from me. she doesn't remember me, i know that's a kinda cop-out cause she cant remember much people but she use to remember me. and today she told me she had no clue who i was. i was a stranger today, a stranger who held her hand and made her laugh but a stranger nonetheless. and it took a while for it to sink in, but when it did it hurt i mean it hurt like physically and emotionally. i felt like i was being virtually sacked by some invisible being. it lasted for a good hour, maybe, then finally went away but it hurt while it was there. maybe things will get better.

ttyl,
bye

cat weird dreamness

2010-01-05T02:38:00.000-08:00

so as the title said i dreamt

the walking around and look their are a bunch of kittens, why don't i take them home. yay kittens. unfortunately wen i got home my old cat didn't like kittens, and chasing them around the house so to help the old cat i decided to try to off one kitten(wont say how cause even meaner) but the bugger wouldn't die.

then i woke up

and went to either church or school cant remember

the end

2009-11-29T02:26:00.000-08:00

can a man walk on water?
swim without a falter?

the waves to come and go
flames sure to show
i dont even know
lets just see this garden grow

to stand is to fall
because to stand you need the fall
the pain wont wain
ya got nothing to gain
so let the fall commence, but wait there's a cane

it helps you up from the fall down
tells you to wipe of that horrendous frown
and just for laughs he wore the gown.

the laughter lasts through the night
with his body putting up a great fight
"tomorrow will be my last" he screams with all his might

he dies without a last breath
struggling to get his meth
now we celebrate his death

the man that helped you the most
didnt have that much to boast
so u sell his name as you give the toast

live your days with all his knowledge never given
ya wonder whats keeping you driven
from beyond the grave the man whispers "your forgiven"

If You Feel Like Dieing You Might Want To Sing!

2009-11-27T13:58:00.000-08:00

story time

so this happened to me about a year or so ago and it was nice of the guy and kinda makes me like old people a little bit more but idk some can still be blah.

so i was walking home from school and i am just passing by the church and the guy asked me if i wanted a ride. i had never seen him before and i haven't seen him since to my knowledge (memory being horrible and all) he doesn't go to my church i don't kno him at all. i say sure throw my backpack in the trunk and go for a ride with him. we go down to close to my house he was the one that said ok i am only taking you this far and turned down Melissa and i got out got my bag and walked home. he was nice and all when most of the older people figure im going to kill them or something worse, and yes there are multiple things worse than death.
the end

I'm Thinking.......Please, Make It Stop

2009-11-22T02:25:00.000-08:00

so i went shooting people today some good times a lot of bad times bu i guess that's war. in warring times one has to not care weather ur a good shot bad shot armless legless or sometimes headless it just matters that you go out fighting and the whole point its not that you kno your gonna lose its how long it takes you to lose and how many sons of bitches you can kill before hand. i think i would rather play shooter video games than real life cause real life hurts sure in this game u respond next round like video game once ur core/head is hit ur dead.

so i still have no money and no job i just might fall into the whole service industry which would probably mean cutting this hair i gots on my head. people says no but it is quit lengthy or maybe just start putting it into a ponytail more often, idk.

im gonna have to do papers soon to help me mom out cause father is away so might as well. at least chomp face is gone. that fucking dog scared the living shit out of me foe a good month or so. sure it never bit me but its bark just sounded like he ment business. that dog learned to get out of the garage by opening a windo just so he could bark at me. im sure there was one time the owner even let him out....hopefully they didnt kno i was out there or that wouldve been just plain mean.

Monday is a special day.

so Ive been dating this girl for about 11 months now and its going good i wish i could do more in relationship ways but fuck i aint good at talking or nothing just typing what the brain thinks. we are good in ways i like, very good ways i like....i still just wish i could do more. i look around and see all these faces, many places i see these faces, so many times i wish i was greater better but nope i aint. she usually asks me why her why did i choose to date her, i sorta stole my answer from "the ugly truth" cause love is a fucked up mistress that no one understands. i always have the question in my head why are you with me? you could have so much better than this. we all think we all write we don't all speak. i myself am probably one of those biggest advocates for the not speaking part. its easier to type my thoughts than say them out loud because saying them out loud means people might not hear them cause of a mumble of something and then there's the emotion behind i all. typing all it needs is grammerish and a person with eyes to read your language. i am no leader no hero no brain wiz no this special thing or that special thing the only thing that keeps me special is having her around (cheese is good shut up) sure people compliment me and all but i for like the first 15 years of my life i don't think people really ever cared what i did so i don't know what to ever say wen a true compliment comes floating around.

well i guess i should sleep now, and if i have said anything that may offend u listen to the guy at the end of a mid summers nights dream

words without meanings, meanings without words

2009-10-26T22:10:00.000-07:00

here we are all n all
just waiting to pounce on the first to fall

we talk and own words we don't mean
even tho we all feel like fiends

we sing and we shout through silence so real
to make them look worse then they really feel

it must have kill to have started this
it must have kill to see us all pissed

just walking through these days
in the worlds heaviest haze

everything comes back to everyone that sees
everyone that hid the tiniest keys

we poor out colour just to see
though your just looking out for me

keep it all to your own mind
hiding it all from your kind

secrets to keep them safe from pain
these secrets make their trust wain
what are you trying to gain?

these are my thoughts about so far, they arent put in big paragraphs or anything just short 2 liners and a third. have fun with whatever day you read this. I'm colds.

garble bargle argle arg

2009-10-09T21:20:00.000-07:00

throat feel like someone replaced it with 120 grit sandpaper. not that strong but strong enough to be very annoying. i find out tomorrow if it contagious or not, i hope not because last time i had it for about a month in grade 7, a horrible month that was. i remember waking around 1ish kinda being able to breath but wen i got to the bathroom it was really really hard to breath and i got to spend my morning in a hospital. i did find a good show tho unfortunately i cant remember the name of it.

i actually cleanedish my room i got so bored. i not fully done i have alot to do still. my house is getting cleaner in some places yet messier in others. i guess as you clean things other places get worse. watever its a good work in progress.

my sister keeps telling me i should go and take philosophy and stuff like it wen all i do is repeat myself about the same things over and over and over. it would be interesting tho to take philosophy even tho i dont really see myself as the smart person that others might be. we will see wat happens wen it happens.

happy thanksgiving everyone!

Sugary Crap

2009-10-01T16:12:00.001-07:00

A gloriously awful foully beautiful thing sugary crap can be.

On a different note im gonna be stoning someone today yay! she tis be my wife.....for a while. oh and i got the august rush soundtrack thanks to rosie, its sooo good i love the music in that movie :D and the movie as well :D! If u have never seen it i will be dragging ur sorry ass down to the rental place and we shall be watching it weather u like movies or not.

its now winter and cold in my house and coincidentally everywhere else as well, just i dont have to live everywhere else. i think i shall be cracking out coat soon, although i am starting not to like it cause its soo big and poofy ya kinda get tired of that type of clothing after a while. if it starts snowing i will start wearing it again. There is a problem with this theory, the bloody rain. it gets everywhere, in my shoes soaking my hoodie so i need a better rain coat. i think wen i get better shoes i shall find a less poofy coat also, it shall be good.

they have made liquid jolly rogers. you know those little fruity candies? they are now in soft drink form at 7-11. shannon doesnt like it but i do.

my brain is really weird especially with dealling with reality. idk how to explain it. its just weird and uncomfortable wen it happens. it doesnt happen all the time. i wish it never happened at all. but u dont always get wat u want. there is a movie that matthew perry is in called numb, i shall find it and watch it soonish.
i tend to like movies about people with mental challenges idk why just do.

i think my train has stopped off at its station, i shall write again wen i get another ticket.

stories, songs and storms

2009-09-09T23:41:00.000-07:00

i said last time i would tell u a story... well i stole this one from an emery song called from crib to coffin

I used to be a better man.
But the regret came, and here I am.
I used to walk outside my door.
But I don't go outside anymore

When will they carry me to my grave?
So I can pay for the things my hands have made.
Two sons will take my body
and place it in the ground.
And I hope they know to be nothing like me.
No nothing like me.

My Blood is tainted with bitterness.
I want it out, I want it out of me.
Oh, the taste of my inheritance.
How I have fallen, the hills will cover me.
You too will become weak.
You too will become weak.

The trees are green what happens when they turn dry.
The trees are green what happens when they turn dry.
We chose our words and threw them towards the sky.
The trees were green, now they have all turned dry.

There was a bird
whose wings were crushed by a windshield.
So fast to the ground,
the roadside it found as its eyes closed.
I heard the driver say as she pulled away,
"What could I have done? The worst is over."
I thought to myself with risk to our health.
No one ever offers help.

When we were boys
we chased through neighbors' fields.
We could run forever, and I swore to my friends,
their lives I would defend, as a superhero.
But age finds the lust and gives it your trust.
And begs your devotion in trade for discretion.
The years play out as days as those friends pass away.
But you are taken care of, there is always television.

hope u had fun with stolen storytime

its weird at work lately, lie everybody can see the storm approaching but is just sitting their waiting for it to hit.in their boredom they find anger. one of the easiest emotions to show. so its weird at work as if i dont want to ask people about things in fear of losing my head. the storm is going to hit at the end of this month, or maybe we will be in the eye by then.

Anyways, i have 3 courses for now until stagecraft starts up. i got woodwork, peer helping and art then i go home and do whatever. so this semester is going to be a lazy one but next semester is going to be annoying cause i will have to actually think on paper. very hard to do.

welp bed times

Good Night Sleep Tight Don"t Let the Bed Bugs Bite

2009-09-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

i guess i need to update this thing, and i guess i will stat with a story of some sort. yea that would be great, but i dont really have one for you today maybe next time.

it seems i like late nights better than days i seem to be more intellectual at moments that consist of walking to the pier and just listening, mainly to the guy that got me up away from my chair but whatever. this has happened a few times wen Justin gets off work he calls we make a few laughs then go for a walk around late night Sidney to the pier and last time was fun. last time was fun because it was rainy and windy and misty (which sounds the same as Mrs.t) but ya good times and coffee good times and coffee. the only problem is cant really do tat wen after i get off my shift cause he is off at the far off land beside the ferrys. sure house partys are fun and all but just one on one walks to the pier if i ever....wen i move away i will miss those the most. and that time seems to be pressing forward kinda quickishly with this being the last year i should have of high school. ahh nostalgic moments how they make human kind wish time could wait for them. unfortunately in a world like that people would be too happy in their fantasy worlds to really care about the one out here.

good. bad. black. white. blueberry. strawberry.

Parental Advisory: this program may contain course language

2009-08-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

hi
well i went to the doctors today to get a couple things better in my mind and it turns out knowing wat type of burn makes it hurt so much more.

so i pretty much now wen walking take the old army song"left, left, left right left" and made my own rendition "fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck" cause i found out that i managed to get a third degree burn on my foot and the way that i walk it stings every step i take with that foot, i think ive told alot of u how i got the burn, right? well if not here i go again.

well i was siting at the compy and i looked at the freezer and saw it glowing a nice yellow and thought freezers don't glow, especially not yellow. so i got up and saw a pot on the stove its contents fully engulfed in flame, my exact words "Dad, DAD, DAD! THE STOVES ON FIRE!" he comes over and is all flustered but gets to work putting out the flames. By that time it started to climb to the shelves above the stove so while we were blowing out the paper that managed to get caught a thing of, i think, nylon dripped and landed on my foot it hurt but the fire and putting it out was more important at the time. After all that was done i decided to run my foot under cold water in the bathtub cause the sink would be too awkward. it turns out it was a greasy puddle on my foot so i let it stay there, cause i couldn't do anything about it at the time. then only about Tuesday last week did i start putting a band aid on it because it looked gross. so now that i know what it is it hurts like a little demon got a new job stabbing my foot every little while to remind me "HEY, YOU HAVE A THIRD DEGREE BURN HERE. YES, IT DOES HURT DOESNT IT?"

Now to a different part of my thinking area.

well this last monday i found myself in an amazing area of hanging out with laura and we were going to movie place to watch a movie. we decided to watch the ugly truth, i know chick flickish thing blah, blah, blah. there is tho this one part of the movie girl person asks her boy why he loves her and he starts listing off the usually beautiful, funny blah, blah, blah CRAP! she dumps him and starts going outwith this other guy, asks him the same question and his answer, "damned if i kno" that i think is actually a better answer i think than pouring out all this excuses to justify why u love who u love. humanity has been around for a long time and there have been many philosophers who have tried to define love through this time of existence, wen in all reality it just comes down to, something undefinable by human terms makes u want that person more than the person right beside him. sure not most get the whole singing angels bit that are in those great tales that we heard from the fairies but something just clicks. unfortunately it can click in as quickly as click out so we try to find ways to make this one fall in love with us even more wen they are just trying figure out what the hell happened to them, sure they may have loved u before but then cupid went "whoops wrong person changed my mind *twang* there ya go have fun you two" and it fucks us up cause we don't kno wat happened. love hapens. dont try to make it happen cause then it falls to the nothingness. if we dont understand i say dont mess with it and just let it happen, but then this also comes with the problem of loving everything that's human right? wrong! That my good people is lust a totally different and regrettably closely relate thing to love.
lust is also a thing that we cant control but we cant stifle a lot less easier than love, especially for most guys.

i think my train has stopped so i leave u with all that to take in digest and then throw it up again
byes

who really would read this? probably not you

2009-08-04T02:47:00.001-07:00

so hi again,
it turns out there is less to do at 3 am then there use to be. i want to rant but i don't. i am also hungry. tends to happen a lot at this weird early time of the night/morning? idk. well i have so far taken 4 drug pills today cause a headache seems to be there lately. should probably top hitting head on solid objects but then how would i deal wit stupid in his world?

i don't kno wat to do
should i take a poo?

well at least i have these songs
tho they may be better replaced by a bong

to bad its illegal
it feels kinda regal

e will see if this works
too bad theres soo many jerks

my hands r being burned away from soap
that isn't really that dope

i could use weird lotion
to cause no commotion

but then i would feel weird
especially with this bead

i think people should talk in rhyms
at least it would be better than mimes

ah how i like their scream
it sets a get mosh scene

OK i stop the rhymes even tho i like them so. to bigger and better things.....maybe not. well my mind can seriously not be blown by how lax i am with things, except for dying in a video game, u shoot me i scream FUCK YOU!!! but then hell i will play another 5 or 6 rounds with ya if ya can put up wit the swearing and screamishing. people r too tightly bound to their nice ideas of how life should be, life should be fun, quick, boring, funny, logical etc. BAH fuck that. life is life living is living its not defined for anyone, cause anyone can define it. humans can be anything u can label hem to be without really caring for labels. let it fucking well be. pacifist. that is me, i ain't here to fully and only please. so i have a contradictory way to meself so to me life is watever comes by, whether fun or not it is wat it is. if people hate they hate and r stupid for it yes but meh they hate. i tried to explain to Stephan how i view the people in this world about races and all that crap, this is wat i told him "u could be the biggest most wanted terrorist in the world i wouldn't care but if u are an ass i don't like u" and trust me its very hard for me to get fully outraged but if i o the German anger that started a world war comes out and goes back again, but if ur there for that time that i have the war in head u better duck cause i gives one swing and we see where it hit.

so i leave u with the mostest recent song tat i listen to.
it called "cut up angels" by the used

nvm i don't really care for the lyrics that much just is a good sound.
so i lave u a different line from a different song

"Look at me can you tell by the way i move and do my hair do you thinks its me or its not me? i don't even care"
the used : I'm A Fake

A Story About Nancy And Nancy's Adventure(s)

2009-07-28T16:18:00.001-07:00

so it turns out i have two options in this thing that i am in. one: i could get money and see people on very irregular basis. or 2: see people on a regular basis without me ever having any money other than at rare times.

i am living in the one where i barely see people and i didn't know how much id miss them all. my brain and whole being is becoming a big fucking mess of a thing it gets better but then falls to a place where Nancy is created. yes Nancy u heard me right.

so get a soft cushion because it is story time about a duck tape arrow who was later named Nancy.
so work yesterday was very very hot cause a kitchen gets really hot in summerness. after i got off work i was gonna go hangout wit rose and so i did with heat and general tiredness so my head wasn't really alive or thinking like normally. she randomly ad a thing of tape so we made things with the tape such as I'm still wearing a ring thingy and a bracelet i made. she made ad arrow that we (very tiredly) threw at each other and later cause a how her mommy was watching called Nancy Nancy. Nancy's gender isn't male isn't female isn't both it is Nancy. Nancy is rose's creator as rose is Nancy's creator. Nancy is now stapled to rose's wall in commemoration of being made in this world, or something i guess.

it is tooo hot to think. so doing something is definitely more worse so i shall just sit here and ype very badly on my only day off till Sunday. so bye bye to all.

Screaming Infidelities

2009-07-21T16:55:00.000-07:00

so this week is weird. especially if i did crack my little sisters wrist. i work every friggin night except Saturday but still. Monday was sketchy, i was woken up with "hey, the other guy didn't show up can u come in to work." i went, i did get good lasagna and then went home played civs with joshua then guess where i went after that. back to work. here is a poem thats kinda been in my head for a while and now i guess is the preview till i get better writers working inside my head.

Please

please steady my hand so i don't kill
please soften my heart so it works for others
please calm my head so it doesn't shutdown
please quicken my steps so i may move faster to u

i guess i could just leave it as is but idk we will see. oh to all u who are readers will be happyish to hear this, i am reading again. kinda stopped for a while but i have started again. i have started with the animorph series. it may be books from wen i was in grade 2 but they are still pretty good. my brother still has all the ones he had from his grade 5 year(which is around 50) so i figure if i read all the books and counting the ones i have already read i should be at the 100 books mark. but hell i aint going to make that mark till maybe grad.

glorious weirdness of my brain. it should be taken outside the chemical shed filled with a pint of whatever is laying around and then crawl back to where he/she? sleeps. it thinks too much about the stupidest things then it goes away i think i am safe but BANG it comes back with the same old crap.

i haven't slept good in a long time, i think it might have been last Saturday? so about a week or so. might have something to do with me staying up till 3or 4 and then sleeping till noonish, just maybe.

i have skittles right now hey usually cheer me up but not this time with their rainbow goodness. sad part is i don't even kno y i am depressed. for wen i look from the outside my lie is fan-fucking-tastic, bu right now i just wanna go and....i aint gonna do anything i just don't like it this bloody feeling. maybe if i went to a concert i could get it knocked out of me for a goodnight, maybe.

i leave u with quote i made ups
happiness stays till the lights turn off and the mirror is staring at your soul.
M8

2009-07-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

I'm the guy that dies in the beginning of the movie

2009-07-17T00:33:00.000-07:00

i think i might go crazy here.
for one there is nothing to do at this time of night. and two at this time i kinda get twitchy. its really weird idk y but if people sawded me they would probably question the whole twitchy fingersness. i think i shall call it hyperness of the night like around midnight. lol i love spell check wen they totally wrong it really funny sometimes. i am making my last poem into a lullaby, i shall not sing cause i make babys cry(literally). i don think i have told u the two babys o have made cry. they are both Andrew Evans babys, one was not my fault the othe i flew into i swear, not the baby u weird thinkers.

so we shall start with how i made the girl cry.
i had this thing a while ago that wen i get pretend shot that i fly back and pretend to be dead. so i would do this. there was this time that i was shot at church, upstairs, where all the chairs are. so as i would i flew back. i landed on a row that just so happens Nelia and the little girl were sitting on. it shook her up pretty goodly. i dont think i have flow since really. i miss flying.

ok now for the boy
this was not my fault, i blame my face(it makes boys cry). ok so every person that was upstairs in the church was around a carrier hat had the boy in it. it looked at everyone but me. so this went on for a little while, at some point my sister Rachel decided to say words to the kid. "look at the scary man look at the scar man." u could see in slow motion real time the look of ear that spread across that kids face as he slowly turned his head to look at me, then he stared to cry. his mother said it was cause he was tired, i blame my face.

i love musicians
if i could play like they do i wouldn't do anything else bu play and learn and play somemore. i could just sit listening to a guy playing away on his guitar forever, that would be a part of my heaven. piano is good too. but i have more random encounters with guitar players. there was this time during the summer me and my dad were taking he ferry to go to the mainland. he needed to use the bathroom so i followed because he would be weird and loss me. outside the bathroom was this amazing guitar player. i just sat and waited for my dad to get out of the bathroom and listened to his guitar it was awesome he didnt stop at anytime just kept playing i lovd it soo much. i dislike it wen they stop and change then keep playing just keep playing and change along the way man.

well my hypers is leaving so i go and do other stuffs now and next time i play with spell check so fun fun

So Long and Thanks For All The Fish

2009-07-15T23:53:00.000-07:00

i kinda started to come up with this idea for a poem while try to sleep beside laura, that was a really bad sleep btw but hell here is the poem that came in and edited a little. idk i think lost interest in the end tho.

Sleep Tight

sleep tight, sleep tight, my sweet little knight,
For you have battled and won the great fight,
now oh now is time for good night.

sleep tight, sleep tight, my working dear,
tonight you shall sleep with nothing to fear,
I shall protect you so shed not one tear.

sleep tight, sleep tight, my beautiful little one,
today is a day where you had lots of fun,
now you should go to bed, say goodbye to the sun.

good night, good night, my sweet little knight.

ok so i lied before i changed it while typing it i think it is better now and tats all i have to say for now so good night

Words + Actions = ?

2009-07-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

what means more words or actions? words have many meanings while action can last for seconds. neither are more important or even less important for if either is done to spite they both hurt. and if either is done in true true love it is felt ever much as great. but then wen the are both combined words totally co-mingled with actions to the perfect point in all truth this is where we find the greatest deeds a human can accomplish.

You Smell Like Rotten Computers

2009-07-14T11:58:00.000-07:00

so my friend posted this up on facecrap, and i liked it so i am going to post his poem here because not many of you know him.

Can I offer you a penny for your thoughts?
As a matter of fact, how about three?
One penny for you, one penny for me,
And one penny for our minds engaged not so sexually.
Getting intimately closer as we approach the
Climatic altitude of nude, mental, sensational… conversation.

Because I’m trying to get to know everything about you
From the neck… UP.

So these are not your typical, sexual, poetical prose.
I’m trying to close the door on that all too firmiliar freaky foreplay game.
With which most guys have chose to approach you.
While they are trying to get deeply inbedded
In the fine fibers of your bedsheets,
I’m trying to find and define the fibers of which your mind speaks.
I want to engage you
By putting a two karat solitaire diamond ON YOUR MIND
Marrying your every thought!

I want to lick every inch of every crevasse
So I can get an oral fix from each oriface
And taste you passionate IMAGINATION.

I’d rather be naked and exposed, holding you
As we’re lying and you’re crying
While confiding and describing the tough times you’ve had in life
And how you don’t know
If you can keep a relationshop long enough to be somebody’s wife.

I wanna feel the heartbeat of all your inner rhythms
As they lead me toward your warm, wet, waterfalls of feminine thoughts.
…And I’ll swin in them.
From backstroaks, to breaststrokes,
I’m penetrating every entrance… to your mind.
Taking my time to find out everything about you.

Did I ever tell you about how you
Fell asleep in my presence?
And your mere essance
Kept me awake for hours
As I cowered with this feeling
Of sexually unadulterated mental connection?

And as you lay by my side
I pushed the blinds aside
And took the time in the moonlight of that night
To count 72 eyelashes
On the upper eyelid of your right eye!
Because when you sleep
Your eyes remain open slightly.

And while we probably moves in too quickly into some sexual stuff
I’ve always cared more about the expilicity illicitness
That came from between you lips.. meaning your voice.

So now I am standing here
Ready to trade in all the sexual acts that we’ve preformed
For the chance to reform the very foundation
And the basis of our relationship.

So I reiterate my opening statement
And I offer you another penny for your thoughts!

by James Micheal Berkey Sat at 1:08pm

its interesting

There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right, Such a cruel contradiction

2009-07-05T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hey Fogert,
well it turns out i started working today..Yay? i dont kno, i kno u hate working, right fogert i mean no one has ever even seen u. its not like u try to hide or anything they just are looking too hard or maybe not even hard enough. i dont even think ur real fogert but i guess i made u real. so now that he is real he needs a face place and possibly a body. but my mind is scrabble from doing the whole standing and moving quickly for 4 and a half hours, the half hour was me scarfing down a bacon cheese burger, and by scarffing i mean chew chew swallow repeat. job is ok but it gets really busy wen u least expect it to then ur fucked cause u thought u could rest. im still learning alot of crap but it all worksout so far my washing dishes hassnt gotten any complain. my hair is still greasy...EWWWWWW. meh i'll wash it after i shave some of my beard off, i should get on that anyways.
HAPPY CANADA DAY
celebrate it how u will i celebrated it by hanging out at a house, watchin a movie, then going to see fireworks, then waiting for hell to freeze over....i mean a bus to come to take us all home. wen one finally did come it was a smaller one and everyone was crammed into it as if it were the worlds largest clown car. i did learn a new rendition to hey jude tho. in the part where they are going nana na na na na hey hey shoot me! a girl was singing that one the first bus that got puked on. after the fireworks we ran into a guy asking or change he said all bluntly-like "i need it to either buy some food or pot, which ever comes first." i figured hell why not give this guy some money i was hungry too but i had that covered wen i got home, so i think i gave the guy a good 3.50 not that sure how much the others gave hime but whatever. there was also this lady with her cart i just started talking to her and she gave me the knowledge that she shouldve taken her acid a little later because those fireworks were too short to fully enjoy in ur own proper mind, i agreed with her.they were better than sidney's of corse but they were alot shorter so it kinda evened out in the end.
I watched this pretty epic movie recently called equilibrium, batman A.K.A. christian bale, is pretty much duel weilding pistols throughout the whole movie. its about this time where we found a drug that stripped humans of all emotion and so preventing war, but there was resistance because they destroyed EVERYTHING that made people feel or have emotion towards it. it is amazing a guy gets his face chopped off and all soi have it till thursday if anyone wants to watch it. i also watched public enemies(that was the movie i watched on canada day) it was funny cause there was this whole emotional part where a guy was dieing and it was all slowmo and quiet and someones cellulat device went off with a little kids song going off it took quite alot for me not to burst out laughing more than i was. i also recently watched reign of fire or at least began to watch it we never actually finished because some devices were crapping up, whatever it wouldve ended good.
so the laptop i am using is losing its letter keys, first the f button then the escape and now the t is disappearing, very unfortunate.
crap, u kno wat i just relized. i cant stay up late anymore i have to actually sleep on good times like before 12am, dang.
so for the last while before i knew i had a job i was helping my dad mud a house for drywall last time i helped him was friday. during that time a deer literally came like right past the window 2-3 times, unfortunately i couldnt clean my hands and get cell phone camera out before deer disappeared.:( my advice if anyone asks if u can help drywalling is dont wear clothes u dont want derty, or white.
i need to go to a concert to get my head hit around for a bit in the mosh pit. i miss the pit its soo much fun, i call whimps for all who have never gon e into a mosh pit, i also call whimps for those who have never gone into a mosh pit without knowing anyone in the mosh pit.
it seems i stopped poetry without wanting to but i guess it just sortof happened. i dont want to force it tho because then it turns to crap, pretty rhyming crap but crap nontheless.
heres where i stop writing or i will start rhyming just to contradict my old words, they flutter around like birds, damnit i am still rhyming with words. FOGERT SAVE ME!!!!

Dont Bore Us Just Get to the Chorus

2009-06-28T01:48:00.000-07:00

ok from now on i am going to have a little blogger friend, his name is going to be.....Fogert pronounced Fog-ert. This will give me something to talk to instead of a blank really bright screen.

Hello Fogert,
Well this day was full of great and awsome dull for the most part. waking up at 11:30am, then not really getting dressed till about 2 maybe 3 in the afternoon, only because I was going off to help my dad move some drywall from sleggs to a place by smuggler's cove(where ever that is).
Those sheets of dry wall are freakin' heavy but hell it was worth it. after me and my dad's slow trip out there laughing at all the drivers who didnt kno wtf was going on. we kinda had the drywall on the roof of the van strapped on with 2 buggie cords, so we only went at the fastest 60m/h, pretty slow for the whole highway. well wen we got there we unloaded the crap from the roof with free crap coffee from the guy that owns the place, my dad decided that we would take the very extremely scenic route home. it was amazing, i dont think my jaw could fall any further the houses up there were gorgeous, with my dad saying he worked in like every second one. there was a house on the right of smuggler's cove that is almost all windows, he said they were roughly about an inch or so thick, cost over $3,000 to replace just one. oh btw he worked in it :P. and on the left of smuggler's cove lives the second richest women in canada (i think he said canada) she had such a beautiful looking house.
I really wish i could live up in that area or at least a house that nice,but i probably never will because of the not really paying profession that i have chosen for now. i dont really kno how much graphic artists get paid but i guess i will find out wont i.
so after the very long tour we got back, at like 6 with both our stomachs grumbling. i am never really in a cooking mood wen i am hungry ever, so my dad made bland food as usual but i still ate it cause i was hungry, aand i thought i was late for serious coffee, but wen i got there there was a pretty small group compared to some nights at serious but it was still ok, i met a new person who is a friend of joshua's and brynn's(probably never see her again, yay or one time meets!!). and then we went down to the peir while it was drizzling and hungout there for a while, shot a few seagulls, got shot by joshua in the nipple and i just skimmed his head with a shot. but then me joshua and jenni went our own separete ways and i went back to boredom.
and now i am here.
needing to wake up and be at friggin church in 7 hours hungry and not wanting to sleep.

welp lets see if i can make a poem
that might show 'em

of how stupid boredom is
coke has a lot of fiss

i think a feast would be nice
stand down and pass the spice

thing about food is probably not pleasant
it makes me feel like a peasant

aerosofting on the peir is fun
just dont get swallowed by a burger bun

rhyming is kinda neat
u really need to change your feet

its starting to get into my very speach
i dont think i should teach

i should go have a shower
it wont give me extra power

but if i just learn to keep
then i will go all sleepidy sleep

i start working next week
its starting to look kinda bleak

well at least i get a pay
i kno i havent all day

damn this is really stupid, this poem means nothg its just a bunch of rhyms, times, mimes. ok well there goes my brain again, when, Sven. rhyming the last word of each sentence, mence, pence. it does this wen i am hyper, piper, typer. but i aint too sugary, burgary, murgary.
i guess i should sleep, weep, keep, peep, meep.

so good night to ya Fogert, bogert,togert.sweet dreams, teams, beams.

Darling, I Would Shoot You Before I Would Ever Let You Leave

2009-06-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

i was bored last nigh so i decided to write this it aint a poem but it'll do

10 things barely any stalker should kno....possibly.

10:I have always lived in the same house.

9:I have always shared a room with my brother in that house

8:Most who dont like their own birthDAY usually havent had a good one

7:I love eating outside of the house, even if its walking down to the corner store

6:I love hearing people's rants about anything

5:Very conscience about me stink

4:I love talking to strangers

3:If no one asks me to do something i sit at home bored forever, first person that says for me to do something i am there.

2:I never actually had good friends that stayed around till grade 8/9

1:Fear of dieing old and alone

well that all of them. btw who ever hassnt seen werner lately should get him out of the house today he is leaving tomarrow morning.

Tonight's Your Last Chance To Do Exactly What You Want To

2009-06-16T23:19:00.000-07:00

Hello
I am sorry I have posted here in a long time but that is because my computer is dead and I dislike writing a lot on my sister's laptop. So other than that I shall say this SCHOOL IS OVER!!!!(Except for exams) stupid exams but I only have 2, a stupid chemistry one then a socials provincial yay (if u did not get that it was sarcasm). and the let the summer roll in WOOT!
On a different note my daddy's birthday is Sunday and he is turning old, like the year of 70 old, and it just so happens to be father’s day as well. So idk if I am obligated to give him 2 presents or just one, then there’s the question of what to get him and all this other crap. but I digress, I have another poem it’s not rhyming but I figured I would give it a shot so here we go.

This is Me

This is the hypocrite
Lies and backwards talking
Fake memory loss without guilt
This is the hypocrite

This is the loner
Quiet guy in the corner
Loving it when everyone else is happy
This is the loner

This is the poet
Rhymer that makes you laugh
Words that mean nothing short of everything
This is the poet

This is the boyfriend
Loving and wishing for her happiness
Wishing he could give her the world, and more
This is the boyfriend

This is the sloth
One who sleeps till 1
Yet gets up at 3
This is the sloth

This is the masochist
A punching bag for all
Yet none ever hit
This is the masochist

This is the addict
Lover of things craved
Yet able to last weeks without if needed
This is the addict

This is the creator
Maker of things unmade
Thinker of things unthinkable
This is the creator

This is the music lover
Deaf to the world
But alive to the music
This is the music lover

This is the philosopher
Answers to questions
Questions without answers
This is the philosopher

This is the worker
Hard at labour
Sleepier at lunch break
This is the worker

This is me

And that’s it I am done for now see all next sometime,
Bye

She may not be perfect, but oh my friend neither are you.

2009-06-01T23:27:00.000-07:00

Hello people who may be disappointed,(this is not a poem but an actual blog posty thing...for now)
well last week and for the next few weeks i will be officially in purgatory. at school that is. My chemistry teacher and i are spending every freaking lunch hour going over crap i have no clue and wont probably use it anywhere other than class. well at least i done socials crap for a while.

so i have been offered to work at blue peter with kory me being a dish washer guy....yay? well at least it will be money right and that is all i need for a little while. i shall put out 2 resumes one to blue peter one to sleggs.

I have also started reading a manga that i found in the library called samurai deeper. it has demon-like samurais an a bunch of other good stuff.

well this has been kinda swell
i may see you burning in hell
i am off to hopefully sleep well

I'm a half-wit boy, cracking a smile and wearing it all on my sleeve.

2009-05-27T19:45:00.001-07:00

So I am bored
It would be great to be a Rock lord
Then I would strike the best cord
I'd rather raid villages with a sword

I draw weird animals
I don't think they are mammals
You wouldn't eat them when your in a famine-als

I just did a quiz
I was a great whiz
Lets go play civs

My rhymes make no sense at all
I lost my bouncy ball
I should go to the mall

Should I be more poetic?
I think that would be fantastic
It might be very frantic

I am writing this in class
while sitting on my....bass

This song is kinda sad
It isn't half bad
It makes me sort of mad

Its about a girl named Cassie
Dieing for her fancy
It wasn't for dancy

It was because she believed in God
Isn't that odd

Whelp here is the song
I forget if it's long

Its a song from Flyleaf
And here is Cassie with all her grief

The question asked in order
To save her life or take it
The answer no to avoid death
The answer yes would make it

Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
And Cassie pulled the trigger

All heads are bowed in silence
To remember her last sentence
She answered him knowing what would happen
Her last words still hanging in the air
In the air

Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
And Cassie pulled the trigger

How many will die
I will die
I, I will say yes

Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
And Cassie pulled the trigger
Do you believe in God
Do you believe in God
Do you believe in God
And I will pull the trigger

This song speaks of truth and really happened
well I think this should end
Have fun with your heart getting mend

Me + Nos = Da Boss

2009-05-27T01:22:00.000-07:00

I feel twitchy
but i ain't really that bitchy
maybe a little bit itchy

i found a bottle cap tonight
i found it without a fight
i find that pretty tight

i had rice for supper
i wish i had followed that piper

into the mountain and the hill
to the upper right corner so that we can chill
somehow we will acquire our fill

i wish i could create fires
i would burn half the teachers tires
maybe even Mr.Pyres

i hear nothing rhymes with orange
i think that's a lie cause i believe in the door hinge
that's what rhymes with orange

i am still not tired even tho it is quite close to 2
sooner or later i am going to need to poo
i gained wings and boy i flew

i think i got burned by a flower
it had a great magical power
it gained it from its sower

toff is a real word
even tho it is quite unheard
i wonder could it be a bird?

well this is getting to be a sort of song
we might have to pry it out with a tong
good night and so long

The Rain in Spain Burns Mainly Through The Human Plain

2009-05-25T00:02:00.000-07:00

I got a new game!!
its got a lot of fame
and it a well known name

sleep is a weird a fragile thing
if u flick it i bet it goes ping
i want to hear a live band sing

i just stole a bunch of songs
i don't find it wrongs
u shouldn't carry them around with tongs

drugs are scary
especially wen they be hairy
or given to u by a fairy

damn money
it isn't funny
not even that cunny

i want to get a phone
it would pown
it would have the best tone

i get a hair cut probably tomorrow
it might cause some sorrow
but i shall lose it in the morrow

i was suppose to apply for a job this weekend
but i think i fell on that bend
good thing i didn't have to fend

i had freshly baked cookies tonight
i even got them without a fight
all i had to do was take a really big bite

if u can sneak
u better be able to peak
or u just might squeak

I'm not going to edit this one srry
but please try not to worry
or else i will find u and fill your eyes with curry
in one fell swoop of a hurry

peter pan is pretty cool
he makes hook look like a fool
the alligator should live in a pool

i hear the bed calling
i see me falling
i feel myself dieing

An Emo Thought from a Birthday Guy

2009-05-22T23:46:00.000-07:00

I wonder what will happen when i die?
Will I float up into the sky?
I wonder if i will remember how to fly?

Will i go down to the fire
the heat the torture the pain the pyre?
I wonder if i would ever tire?

or will i rise up and fly up to the high heavens
how many pies could they cook in those ovens?
would i be friends with a guy named svens?

so today's my birthday hip hip hooray
i just cant wait for a better day
i wish i could just sleep it away

today wasn't bad but today wasn't that good
I really really wish i had more food
the candy i got was pretty grood

i know i should think better of my birth
but i really don't think it that much worth
celebrating some bloke's untimely birth

this note is really emo I'm sorry for that
i would cover my face but i don't have a hat
i could threaten someone with a bat
but all u know i wouldn't do that

well that's what ya get for being a pacifist
you barely even use your fist
when you act as a pacifist

i don't know why but i feel kinda emo
it might be because its my birthday thing-o
but that cant be it, it just ended 8 minutes ago

well i shall go back to reading those comics
or should i go off an study some phonics
or i could create the first healing tonics

well i am off
hopefully u get rid of that cough
good bye and fun beating up a toff

Failure Leaves Such a Bitter Taste in my Mouth

2009-05-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

while walking home i saw some cats
I'm glad they had no baseball bats
i wonder where some grub is at

the cats were fighting in a fun way
it looked like they were gay
hip-hip-hooray?

they say sex is the best feeling ever
i would think it quit severe
some probably do it out of fear

i should sleep
so not another peep
hope this wasn't too deep.

Duuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. O_o

2009-05-18T22:00:00.001-07:00

Someone took a sledgehammer to my head
it feels kinda dead
should i go to bed?

my head just got shorted out
i guess there's no reason to pout
how am i suppose to go about?

science is too far into existence
They must have great persistence
i wonder if they can go the distance?

my head was broken by a book
i never really even took a look
can anti-matter cook?

msn wont let me sign in
i want to meet a guy who swims with fins
can i have salmon for din din?

i just sawded a movie with explosions
it sucks the world has erosions
can normal folk have multiple implosions?

i am done here
i think most my friends are queer
can i has root beer?

Star Stars What a Wonderful Thing, I Wish They Had Sung I Wish They Could Sing.

2009-05-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

This will be fun I like this thing,
people should join in and sing, sing, sing,
but only if its your sort of thing.

Rhyming is fun if you can say what you think,
its very hard not to blink,
Peter Pan has a fairy named Tink.

I am hungry as a friggin bear,
it would be weird if I had short hair,
teehee rabies taste better at the fair,

I am thinking this is weird,
I want a better beard,
people look funny wen they get smeared.

This is all I am doing for today,
I hope you had fun in a fun sort of way,
China beach is a fun but far away bay.
-Matty

The Wind and the Rain are Driving Me Insane

2009-05-10T23:45:00.000-07:00

YAY for rhyming title.

My socks are wet,
I need a new pet,
I shall call her Chet.

She will live in a box,
It will really really rox,
She will eat red sox.

This is a rhyming poem,
I cant think of anything woe-m,
Say hello to mister Toem.

I am done having fun,
Hope u enjoyed reading this one,
But now I really got to run.
-Marttholemu

Quotable Quotes From My Desktop

2009-05-10T02:14:00.000-07:00

this is the grace that only we can bestow. this is the price u pay for loss of control. this is the break in the bend, this is the closest of calls. this is the reason you're alone, this is the rise and the fall.

Hey unfaithful I will teach you To be stronger, Hey ungraceful I will teach you To forgive one another Hey unloving I will love you

Life's so easy wen she fits right into your arms

I'd rather die in love Than stay alive numb

So push me back and I'll stay the same And fall in love with the sound of silence

Adventure,excitement, a Jedi craves not these things-words of wisdom from silent Bob

We can't all be heroes. Someone needs to sit on the curb and clap as they go past

It's so funny how we see things so clear when we have no time left to live

Tonight this 'hood will be a pyre I'm gonna set your house on fire I'll dance around the pretty flames Such a wonderful game!

I tried to cry out from the inside, but I guess my soul did not pour itself out enough

it doesn't matter, it never has before, its always better staring at the floor. it doesn't happen unless u do it twice, then its time to wonder if its really half as nice

And I know amazing And I feel her too I wish she could meet you But if you don't have the time, she might run off and hide away

once again the bread and wine but it seems the meanings may be deeper still this time

wen we r unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent & absolute existence

I thought about a burning fire I thought about a love in fire I thought about your love

co-ordinate brain and mouth then ask me what its like to have myself so figured out....... i wish i knew

Well you know I hardly speak When I do, it's just for you I haven't said a word in weeks Cause they've been keepin' me from you

note by note and page by page I've been writing a symphony of failures a ground work of my mistakes. so hit the lights and cue the band, sound the final call the audience is here to watch me fall

Take a picture from off the wall Wen u think that nothing matters Take a picture from the bridge It's a long way to the floor Cut your finger on the edge Cause it's sharper than they told u Take a leap from out the window Cause it's way too far to go through the door

well that's them all. most of them are from bands that i listened to and thought that those few lines were good, there is only about 2 of them that are not from a band. well i sleeps now good nights sleep tights kill the cannibal wen he bites.

Guess Who Has 2 Thumbs And Still No Job?

2009-05-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

That's right i still have no freaking job. BAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! but i did manage to acquire a thing wit parent-people where i get 25 munnys a week for mowing lawn, but i still need a bloody job. So if you, any of you, know anywhere/anyone that is looking for nice good labor work please let me know. Yes this may be desperate but it is needed.

Me Myself and a Guy Named Matt

2009-05-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

Hello people that live inside my computer,
today was goods in the way that I now(for the next 3 days) have a room to myself YAY!! i also started my day with glorious sugar muffins, sure they were a little stale but that's no the point they were sugar muffins mmmmm. today i also found out that a golf ball could withstand being run over by a car. rain is fun after about five blocks you just stop caring its there, unless you have an umbrella.
ummmm
i think i ran out of things to say....OH WAIT i have not today i also watched an amazing movie which i believe is in my top 3 and the movie i watched was mirror mask. i kno there is a picture book out there for it somewhere and there is a book book too, for all those picture dislike almost as if it was haters out there. i have gotten 2 of my top 3 movies so far, one thanks to christophe who helped get it off interwebs and one thanks to me girlfriend who gave it as present. but i still missing one, the final last one, the one that wen i first watched it i felt REALLY REALLY high, (and all i did was watch a movie) that was a good nigt. so to say my top 3 movies they would be (in no specific order) mirror mask, batman: dark knight and across the universe.
now i think i have run out of...never mind i have more, i think.
Bottle caps. many i have collected and i am about 4-5 away from breaking 100 WOOT!
philosophy is messed up, it seems that u can only think of it wen no one can record it so later on wen u re-think it it is all mumbled and jumbled to not it original state of mind but a totall different one, one that is thinking differently than when you thought it up. i wonder wen "they" are going to start putting chips inside us so we can record our every word. it would help me alot because my mind is usually changing every few hours depending on whats happening.
well i am done here toudlse and have a good Thursday
bye
-MaTt

p.s. srry to all those grammar people who might read this and good luck.

May the Fourth be With You

2009-05-04T22:39:00.000-07:00

so today is monday and i have started to blog...again.
it seems like everyone is lately, so i decided to join in on the excitement of blogging.(i hope i dont die from this) supposedly according to xkcd 1 person has died of a blogging accident, it might have been a joke but still it makes u kinda feel a bi sketchy doing this whole thing. well onto bigger and better thoughts. The rain is nice same with the wind its good too, i havent walked n it for quite some time now and i think thats a shame. "sorry wind sorry rain i will see u again sometime in later days." i need ice tea so i think this is done because i think the weather is calling for me to go and well i kinda ran out of things to say so good night sleep tight make sure to squish a spider in frieght.
bye,
Matt